Perfection must be Faked

BEIJING -- China's $100-million Olympics opening ceremony wowed its global TV audience with a lavish spectacle and pizazz that tried to present a perfect image of China to the world, right down to the perfect teeth of the little girl who took center-stage and sang an ode to the motherland. Except the voice was not hers. It was recorded and belonged to another girl, with better pipes but crooked baby teeth and a chubby face. Nor was all quite what it seemed with the dazzling fireworks sequence watched by a billion or more television viewers. Worried about the difficulty of cameras capturing 29 sequential explosions from Tiananmen Square to the Olympic Village, the Chinese visual effects team re-created all but one of the big bangs in an animation studio, and inserted the 55-second clip into the live TV coverage. Perfection, it seems, must sometimes be faked.

LA Times by Mark Magnier ( for the entire story click: http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-fg-lipsync13-2008aug13,0,3009926.story )

It seems that many are in an uproar over this contraversy surrounding the little girls who sang / performed at the Olympics. We as Americans should not be surprised by this, we've done it for years in Hollywood. One of my favorite all time movies is The Sound of Music. I have loved it since I was a little girl. I remember after we got our first VCR, I wanted to tape it off the TV so I could watch it anytime I wanted. My brother, who did not share my love of the movie, was not impressed with my parents decision to allow me to do this. So in great big brother fashion, he taped over it after about 3 months of me watching it constantly. Imagine my surprise, years later as an adult, I found out that star Christoper Plummer, did not sing any of the songs, but another man's voice was dubbed in. As a teenager, I also remember the uproar when it was leaked that a body double was used for Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

"Perfection, it seems, must sometimes be faked." How true this is. We in our own lives go through the paces of life, lettting people think that life is perfect, and most of the time, that is simply not true. How many people you see would be shocked to hear how you really are. I really struggle with worring about what people think of me. In part, I know it is because I've grew up and learned that I wasn't good enough. Truly I am working on this, in fact, this quote from Max Lucado hit me square in the face the other day:

"As long as you think you can control people’s behavior toward you, you are held in bondage by their opinions. If you think you can control their opinion, and their opinion isn’t positive, then guess who you have to blame? Yourself. It’s a game with unfair rules and fatal finishes. Jesus didn’t play it, nor should you.” Max Lucado

I am so ready to shed myself of this bondage that I have so long been a slave to. Jesus is the only person who was ever perfect, and I can't live up to that even as much as I try. I am so thankful I don't have to anymore.

Time goes by so fast

I know, I have been silent for a while. But Katie has been doing such a great job, how much could I add? ... This is a short post....

This is for all of the new dads out there with little boys. Today I felt like, Katie was expecting, I blinked my eyes, and then today I was walking our baby boy to school for the first time. We have been to the orientation meetings with him last week and yesterday Katie and I walked him to his class and met his teacher. Today however, was different. I walked him and his sister to the edge of the school grounds and then had to let go of his hand and watch him walk by himself the rest of the way to the school till he was in the door. I got a bit choked up on the way home, as it seemed like we just brought him home from the hospital last year. He is such a strong and smart little guy and loves meeting new friends. I am so thankful to God for sending him to us and allowing us to be his mom and dad. I pray that we as parents continue to stay out of the way and let God grow Bradley into a Godly little boy with a child like faith. I learn so much from the two children God as given us to care for and nurture.

Why we all need a mentor....

I am about to get up on my soap box, and I wanted to give you fair warning....

One year ago this coming week, Jim and I were in church listening to a message on one of the churches of Revelation. (Honestly I don't know which one....) But Gib (our pastor) made a comment that went something like, if you don't have someone in your life who is willing to tell you that you are heading down the road to disaster, or to let you know your house is burning down around you, you are heading down the wrong path. (not his exact words, I'm sure his was much better.) Jim and I looked at each other at that moment, and we knew that there was something missing. Which led me to send an email to the 3 people that I teach Sunday school with just asking for them to pray about several issues for me. In my mind it was just the beginning of my quest for a mentor, but in God's timing, it was the end. From the email, God led us to a beautiful, Godly couple, who a month later took us out to dinner to, as I call it, interview us, to make sure we were serious. I was a nervous wreck, I played with my soda straw the entire evening.

The year has been such a blessing for us. In the beginning, when I met with her, and wanted to list off all the things that my husband needed to change, because I thought me?? I don't need to change, he's the one who really needs a mentor, I just need someone to help me get him into shape. Did God even take those thoughts and make me eat them. =) After we got started, I got to see just how much work I needed, and how I needed to change. After I became willing, He went to work. As I sit here and type, I am a changed person, and I love it. Has it been easy, no way!!!

All that to say this: Last evening, our mentors came over for a visit. Jim and I have been working through an issue that has left us needing some advise from them. What I love about them is that they are willing to ask the tough questions. And they weren't willing to settle for vague answers. God truly blessed us when He put them in our lives. God allowed them to become part of our lives, and they have walked with us through some powerful things this past year.

So if you are reading this and you think, hey I need that, first pray, then act. Do not be afraid to ask someone. It seems like many in my generation are too caught up in worrying about what others think of them. (no worries, I am guilty of this too....more on that to come...) He will lead you to the right people in His timing. I know He did for me.

God's Provision....

One of my dear friends has a saying, "God is never early, He's never late, He's always right on time." We experienced that this weekend. In February, we decided that it would be best for us to go debt free and get rid of all our credit cards. This has been a huge adjustment for us, because we liked being able to do what we wanted when we wanted it. We are now trying to come up from under all the debt we had amassed over the years. It hasn't been fun, but God has been so good to us and has taught us that if we just wait on Him, He will provide.

Today is the first day of school, and this week, my Bradley will be heading off to Kindergarten. Being the mom that I am, I wanted to be able to get him some clothes for school. So one day before "tax free" weekend, we went through his closet. He had a lot of clothes that just fit, leaving not a lot of room for growing. My budget for BTS was small, but I am a frugal shopper and knew that I could get what I needed for what I had. My favorite store to shop for the kids is Gymboree. Now, I know what you are thinking...high dollar clothes....but wait, if you shop there at the right time, you can get your stuff as cheap as wal-mart or target and have better quality clothes that last a long time. Anyway, I hit a sale, and had an additional 20% off and got some great deals. (This was not God's provision...keep reading...)

Saturday morning, we took the kids and went down to the Neighborhood school to help them get ready for the new school year. We had a great time, God is really at work there, and I was blessed to be a part of it. Mike S. and I were talking briefly about the girls and how some of them only have 1 uniform to start the school year with. This tugged at my heart, but I thought, Lord, what can I do? Our budget is really tight and I can't really help them right now. But, He is good and He has made a way. Later that evening, I got a call from a friend, Melissa. She told me that her neighbor had brought her some clothes for her son, but many of them didn't and she thought they might fit Bradley. Her husband was on her way out to get dinner, and she asked if I minded if he dropped them off to us. I said sure and figured he would be showing up with several Kroger bags of clothes, which I was delighted with. But, when he did show up, he brought 6 white trash bags full of clothes, shoes, even a winter coat all in Bradley's size and even the next size up!! So now, I have enough clothes for this year, and probably next too.

And then it hit me, we no longer need the clothes that I ordered from Gymboree because we now have plenty. God has made a way for me to help the girls at TNS in need of uniforms. I can return the things we originally purchased Bradley and buy what they need to get started at school. I am still amazed at how He works. I am continually grateful for the blessings that He has given us. Thank you Lord for once again reminding me that no matter what happens, You are still in control and You will still get the job done.

Worship

Why is it that no matter how I feel, when I drop everything and begin to worship, my whole outlook can change? I know the answer, it's Jesus. He never ceases to amaze me. I have had a really rough week. This afternoon, I felt that I was at the end of my rope. I kept thinking about the Jeremy Camp song, I Still Believe. So off to you tube I went for some free worship while I let my kids watch TV. His story amazed me, when he had been married only 4 short months, his wife died of cancer. It brought tears to my eyes.

This part of the chorus really spoke volumes to me. " The only place I can go is into your arms where I throw to you my feeble prayers in brokeness I can see that this was your will for me Help me to know You are near."

What a beautiful reality to be able to go straight to your Father's arms knowing that even in your time of need, He is always faithful. That His will is perfect, even when we cannot see, and we want to know the how's and the why's. To further that, when we don't get the answers we want or expect, we have to trust Him our Father, knowing that I can only see a tiny microscopic piece of the picture but He can see the entire finished work.

I Corinthians 13:12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

There are some things that I look forward to knowing when I get to heaven. But part of me wonders if I will even care because in His presence I do not think that it will matter.

The Quilt....

I really liked this story I got from the friend in an email, so I thought I would share it. It relates to my previous post.

The Quilt

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us, our life was laid out like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that was our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life. I saw hardships that I had endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, fortune, and false accusations that took from me my world as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I had often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I had spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I had endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who had unfairly judged me. And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others, who were staring at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.' May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!

A new way

Lately, I have had to stop and take a hard look at life. Why I do the things I do, and question some reasons behind them. I know that it is because I feel my life spiritually, mentally, and physically are exploding right now. (and no I am not gaining weight or pregnant.) Because of this growth, I have left some old things behind, or at least I'm trying to. In picking up new things, I have been focused on church life. I love our church. If I could sum it up in one word, it would be: FAMILY. I have never experienced this type of feeling with a church before. For those who do not know, I am a PK and so even though our church was small, it has always seemed like what I did was on display. Until we moved to the Memphis area, we were involved in pretty legalistic churches. Keeping this in mind, I am moving out of the mind-set of you told me so it must be true, or I serve because you told me I should or I go to church because it is Sunday. I could go on.

Back to family, my new family, are unlike most people I've ever dealt with, honestly it is refreshing to be surrounded and supported by people who actually care, people who love me just as I am, and who know all my faults. It was been a huge lesson in unconditional love for me, something I have longed for most of my life. I have found joy serving here. It made me realize that service for Him is not about me. When I get out of His way and let Him use me, that is when I make the most difference. When I just show up, you can tell. I no longer want to be someone who just shows up. I also no longer want to think look what I can do for you, but look what HE can do. I want my life to reflect Him and His glory, so that He can use me how He wants.

Thoughts of Ohio....

In September, Jim and I will have lived in Collierville 3 years. I can't believe it. Last night, however I was reminded of a few things that I miss. While out running around, we found ourselves at the Old Time Pottery on Winchester, and low and behold, I saw a glimpse of paradise...the glowing red "Hot and Ready" of the Krispy Kreme Doughnuts store that was in the parking lot of the Old Time Pottery. As I happily munched on that warm delicious doughnut, I was reminded of Ohio. There seemed to be a Krispy Kreme on a lot of corners in Ohio, and those things you buy in the grocery store do not come close to comparing. If you are out that way and you see the glowing red sign, I recommend stopping, you will not regret it.

It's funny how a lot of the things I miss about Ohio is food. We lived in Akron, located in Northeast Ohio, and I grew up in Sebring, a tiny little place about 45 minutes east of there. There are many things that we still ask the family to bring for us when they come. Our favorite Amish wine, Dan Dee Cheese Twists, Trail Bologna, my Mom's homemade strawberry jam, and Guigsberg Baby Swiss. There are some things that do not travel well....chicken from the chicken house in Barberton, a cheeseburger and fries from Swenson's, and a pizza from Capri's in Highland square. I realize that we generally get our "fix" when we go North to visit, but we are not making it this year.

While there are some things here that compare, there are some standards that just haven't been met yet. If you know of anything close, please let us know.

Growing up

Today began Tennessee's semi-annual tax free weekend. One of my favorite and stressful shopping experiences. Everyone is out trying to buy shoes, clothes, whatever you need to for back to school because it is tax free. If you plan, which I did, the savings can really add up. But you have to be willing to fight some crowds. We have returned home from our little shopping adventure, somewhat poorer, but ready for school to begin in just 10 short days...and then it hit me. 10 days until my baby starts kindergarten. It was kinda a sad moment for me as a mom. I can still remember the day I found out we were finally being blessed with another child, when he was actually born, and all those other milestones that melts a mom's heart. No, I didn't cry, but I probably will when that first day comes. Time goes by so fast, it has made me realize the importance of living each day to the fullest.

It reminds me of this verse: Jer. 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Since it seems like only yesterday he was a baby, tomorrow could see him graduating from high school. I will just keep praying for him...and Taylor too....she was an adult when she was 3 so I am in trouble over her being 9.